Nerd Life Movie Review: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

Allow me to start with the simple: This is NOT a good movie.

That being said, you should still see it.

The story is a complete mess. Way more complicated than it needed to be. As such, the middle portion of the movie drags on for waaaay too long. Then, once everything comes together, there isn't enough time to give the final battle the screentime it deserves. The whole final few scenes feel very rushed.

In the end, it doesn't really matter, we're all here to see giant robots, Megan Fox and/or BAYSPLOSIONS!

In all the chaos, unfortunately, many of the Transformers get lost. Megatron and Starscream get much more characterization in this movie, but the rest of the Decepticons are just cannon fodder. The filmmakers reused many models for different characters, and some are even characterless drones.

The Autobots fare little better. Optimus Prime returns to his 80s-era awesomeness. Bumblebee, Ratchet and Ironhide are all just... there. Arcee and ideswipe are very cool in the few scenes they're in, and Jolt is a complete ghost for almost the entire film. The only new bots in the movie that get any screentime are Skids and Mudflap, the Twins. I must admit, I didn't hate them as much as I thought I would. They are, however, still stupid and annoying. The point of having immature characters is to watch them grow over the course of the story. They're idiots at the beginning, and still idiots at the end. Also, for characters created to appeal to kids, they're language is nothing that I would want to expose my kids to. The way they talk fits the characters, sure, but be warned if you take your little ones.

Aside from Optimus' nerdgasm-inducing scenes, the only bots to stand out are Wheelie and Jetfire. Wheelie is a fun little character that I enjoyed more than I thought I would. Jetfire, an old Cybertronian hiding on Earth for ages is also a blast. His difficulty transforming and "old man" talk and thought process mirrors the audience's own confusion with the storyline.

As for the human characters... who cares? Most of the cast is acceptable. Nothing bad, nothing great. Sam's parents are funny in their scenes. John Turturro's Agent Simmons COMPLETELY steals every scene he's in. I will say that Shia LeBouf nailed his "Allspark freakout" scenes, though.

So, all this talk about story and acting. What about the ACTION?

Optimus Prime... holy crap. Every scene he's in is so mindblowingly awesome, your eyes will vomit from being overwhelmed. Bring buckets.

Lots of other great fight scenes, BAYSPLOSIONS abound. The effects are unimaginably amazing. You see every freaking gear on the Transformers. They feel real. Devastator is a marvel of modern special effects, with more moving parts than a carnival. Unfortunately, the character is very underutilized. Again, a warning for the parents: This movie is very violent. Sure, they're CGI robots, but some of the scenes can be a little intense.

So, again, is it a good movie? No
Is it a bit too long? Yes
Is it worth your time and money? Absolutely

Nerd Life Mid-Week: A True Hero

"A True Hero" or "Everthing I Know About Being a Man I Learned from Optimus Prime"

Two years ago, some kid sat in a movie theater, bouncing up and down, clapping his hands when Optimus Prime first appeared on screen.

That kid was me.

Inside every grown man beats the heart of an 8-year-old.

Transformers were not just a part of my childhood, they WERE my childhood. The series premiered on American TV during my formative years. If you do not understand just how awesome cars, trucks and planes turning in to giant robots and doing battle is, I feel very sorry for you. To a very young child in the 80s, life could not have been any better.

The first true hero I ever worshiped was the leader of the brave Autobots, Optimus Prime.



He was strong, brave, intelligent, honorable, dependable and selfless. As a young boy growing up without a father, Optimus Prime was everything I needed in my life.

At the age of 5, I was treated with a trip to see Transformers: The Movie in theaters. Early on in the film, the Autobots are on the brink of defeat. Many soldiers have fallen, and the Decepticons are about to take Autobot City and end the war.

Then, Optimus Prime enters the battle.



Stupid Hot Rod, getting in the way, allowing the Decepticons to escape. That's OK, Prime will recover and lead the counterattack!



...

I was inconsolable. I cried through the movie. I cried on the way home. My hero, my idol, had fallen. Life would never be the same.

I grew up a lot that day.

Sure, they would realize how bad they screwed up and bring Prime back, to lead all Cybertronians into the Golden Age. But things would never be the same.

Now that I'm older, I understand that the movie was nothing more than a marketing tool, used to end one version of the toy line and launch another. As such, Transformers would see many iterations over the years. Optimus Prime would see many incarnations over the following 20+ years, giving future generations of little boys a hero they could be proud of.

Nerd Life Movie Review: Star Trek

Star Trek fan? Go see it.

Casual nerd? Go see it.

Nerd who's in denial? Go see it.

Person who beats up people who watch Star Trek? Go see it.

Seriously, this movie has it all. There are enough nods to the series' legacy to please the faithful, while still being completely accessible to non-fans.

How did they do this? JJ Abrams.

The studio has said the main reason they hired Abrams was because he HATED Star Trek. So, he took this wonderfully realized universe and made it accessible to the non-geeks of the world.

Many reviewers are going on and on about how amazing the cast is. I'm not going there. They're absolutely right, but here's all you need to know:

Zachary Quinto is Leonard Nimoy's long-lost grandson.
Karl Urban is an AWESOME "Bones" McCoy.
Simon Pegg is the man no matter what he does.
No issues at all with the rest of the cast.

The main area where this film diverges from tradition is the action. In previous films and TV series, missions always start out peaceful, the occasionally require a more physical approach. In Abrams' take, the younger crew takes more of a "shoot first, as questions later" approach. Kirk comes off as more of a cowboy than ever before, and it works. More action means more profit. More profit means more films to tell awesome stories in.

The story is... interesting. I have no real complaints, it's just radically different from anything that's come from the franchise before. It's cool seeing all these characters we know come together for the first time, and everything fits. One problem:

I hate time travel.

I went in to this film expecting the time travel plot device to be nothing more than a way to shoehorn Nimoy's "Old Spock" into the story. I couldn't have been more wrong. The time travel allows Abrams to create his own universe, without 40+ years of canon to adhere to. New stories with old characters.

A great movie. Again, go watch it. Highly recommended to anyone and everyone.

Nerd Life: Wolverine Review

First off: This review MAY not be based off the finished product. If I were to somehow view this movie weeks ago, this is the hypothetical review I would write. That imaginary non-movie would have the bulk of the finished plot in place, one would guess.

See where I'm going here?



Okay, first of all let me get something off my chest.

Deadpool is one of the most unique characters in the Marvel Universe. He's a fan favorite.

He's awesome in the movie.

For about five minutes.

Then they completely blow it. Let us never again mention the teleporting, eye-laser blasting, Baraka-sword wielding Merc Without a Mouth.

Aside from the Deadpool debacle, I have to say, it's not a bad movie.

The core story is very well done. They've taken some license with Wolverine and Sabretooth's origins, but it all works. Liev Schreiber plays a great take on Sabretooth while Hugh Jackman is just as awesome as ever in the role of Wolverine. Everything involving their past, Silver Fox and the Weapon X Program is very well done.

However, there's just not enough of it. Sabretooth is presented as the film's main villain, but in reality Stryker is the one that conflicts with Wolverine the most.

The entire rest of the movie is just a blur of forced fight scenes and character cameos. They advertise the movie with a large cast, including The Blob, Emma Frost, Cyclops and Gambit. While that's all cool, they neglect to mention that the scenes they show in the trailer are the ONLY scenes they have in the movie. It's as if the writers just sat around asking "How can we write another character into this movie, just to say he's in it?" Overall, the supporting cast does nothing to enhance the movie.

The film isn't BAD, it just misses on some key marks. Casual fans of the X-Men movies will probably like this movie quite a bit. Actual comic fans who have years invested in some of these characters can enjoy it, but will be left disappointed about the movie that this could have been.

Dissenting Opinion

Ok, I know there's been a lot of Watchmen posts lately, but this should be the last one.

MOVIE AND COMIC SPOILERS ABOUND HERE

Last week, I posted my review of Watchmen.

Big Bear Butt, one of my favorite bloggers, put up his review of Watchmen the other day. Well, he didn't enjoy it as much as I did. BBB is a bit more of a fan of the graphic novel than I am, and felt a little more strongly about some of the changes than I did.

Instead of jacking up his comment area, I decided to share my thoughts here.

Allow me to preface this discussion by saying that I have nothing but respect for the big guy. His opinions are totally valid and I am in no way saying he is incorrect. His thoughts are just as allowable as mine or any others. I am merely offering another opinion for those that have not seen the film to formulate their own.

BBB:
The action scenes are very well done, but short. There are more of them in the movie than in the comic, but the amount of dialogue in the movie is brutal. They did a good job of trying to be faithful to the dialogue of the source material… but it is just is too long, and too dry. What worked on the written page doesn’t work here.

I'll agree here. I feel those extra action sequences actually help the movie, by breaking up the plot segments. It's a lot of story to take in if you're not familiar with the source material.

BBB:
... they really screwed the viewers by leaving in some scenes of graphic, nasty violence... those scenes were the epitomy of gratuitous violence, because they added nothing to the story but gore and violence.

I'll slightly disagree here. Yes, those scenes are much more graphic in the movie than the comic. I'll also concede that the "elbow breaking" was completely unnecessary. However, I feel it was necessary for the fighting to be more violent than what we perceive as "normal." Our heroes, for the most part, don't have powers. Outside of Dr. Manhattan, they can't stop bullets or see the future. When outnumbered and outgunned, our heroes must be sure to disable an enemy. When Batman punches a foe, he goes down unconscious, but that's not how things work in the real world. For a movie that tries to portray "super" heroes as real-life characters, making the action sequences believable helps.

Now, the cleaver scene wasn't even in the comic. In the comic, Rorschach notches his first kill by chaining the childkiller to a furnace and burning the place down, leaving him with the option of cutting his leg off. One big problem: that same scenario was in Saw. While viewers who read the comic will know which came first, most moviegoers will not. So, they changed it. Zack Snyder didn't just add the head-chopping for the sake of violence. Here's Dave Gibbons' take on the scene, from an interview he did with Snyder on Comic Book Resources:

Gibbons:
It made me wince. I think that was about as violent as it gets, and interestingly enough, it kind of fits with the symmetry thing. You know, chopping somebody down the middle of the head, I can see it had a resonance like that. And I think it had to be something that had a real kick to it, because it is what turns Kovacs into Rorschach. So it’s got to have a huge charge, and it has.

Of course, BBB's biggest issue is the changed ending. Here's the thing, if you didn't pay attention to all the little details in the comic, the original ending didn't make a whole lot of sense. After leaving the theater my girlfriend asked me about the original ending.
"Ozymandias teleports a giant squid that he created using the cloned brain of a psychic to Times Square, killing it and causing a psychic backlash that murders millions in order to make the world believe aliens are invading."
"............. What?"
At the end of the day, the movie has to make its viewers satisfied. Keep in mind that the majority of viewers have never read the graphic novel. Throwing a giant squid at them MIGHT have been a bit too much. The new ending, while less logical to BBB and other hardcore fans, is just more acceptable to a mass audience.

Honestly, I would have preferred if the movie had never been made at all. However, after 20 years of trying, it was going to get done sooner or later. I'm just happy they got a good director, willing to stand his ground and make the best movie possible. It may not be perfect, but it could have been much, MUCH worse.

Once again, everyone is welcome to their opinions. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to Big Bear Butt. Get out there, read the comic, watch the movie and make your own.

I apologize for the rambling, but the only thing worse than a geek is a geek with an audience.

Nerd Life Evening Edition: Watching the Watchmen

I wanted to get this review up Saturday night, but was unable.

So, some quick thoughts on the Watchmen movie.

First of all, I was absolutely SHOCKED to see so many kids in the audience. Not only the expected "drop me off at the theater" kids, but small children, not over the age of EIGHT at the theater with their parents. To watch an R-rated movie. A VERY R-rated movie.

The film itself was amazing. The special effects really brought the drawings to life and music were brilliant. Many of the songs featured were actually quoted in the comics. The choreography, holy CRAP, the choreography in the fight scenes was amazing. In the comic, I never thought of Nite Owl as much of a fighter, but the movie made me believe.

The acting was, for the most part, spot on. Jackie Earle Haley anmd Billy Crudup have been widely, and correctly, lauded for their performances as Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan. However, I feel the best performance was given by Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the role of The Comedian. He brought one of the most interesting characters of the books to life in a way I never could have imagined. His performance gave the character new depth. Matthew Goode has been called by many the "weakest" member of the cast as Ozymandias. However, he was given the job of playing one of the most important characters with the LEAST amount of screen time.

Story-wise, Zack Snyder has done it again. After recreating 300 nearly frame-for-frame, he once again lives up to the source material here. Every major scene (and many more minor ones than I would have anticipated) has been brilliantly visualized. There is one notable exception, one of my favorite scenes from the comic that was left out. Zack Snyder himself was upset he had to cut it from the theatrical release for time, and has guaranteed that it's in the Director's Cut. Honestly, it makes sense for that scene to be removed, because there is literally NOWHERE else to cut time. After the initial introductions, the movie moves at a break-neck pace.

Now, the ending. Snyder came out and said he changed it. Fanboys everywhere held their breath with fear. Now, that I've seen it, I have to say, I think I like this one BETTER. It makes more sense, especially to average 2009 movie-goers. All the emotional points are intact. Everything still HAPPENS, just in a slightly different way.

Final verdict: Fans will have ALREADY seen it. If you have a casual interest, you definitely must check it out, and I would suggest reading the graphic novel afterward. Average Joes and Janes may not enjoy it as much as they did 300. The movie has the audacity to assume its audience is not full of morons. However, for a fun, thought-provoking movie, Watchmen is an excellent view.

Nerd Life Special: Who Watches the Watchmen?

Tomorrow (techinically later tonight) marks an important date in Nerd History. Watchmen, the most hallowed comic book of all time, becomes a film.

Cancel that. Watchmen is one of the few comics actually worthy of the title "graphic novel." That's a term usually thrown about by people "too old" to be reading "comic books."

So, what's the big deal about Watchmen, you ask? What makes it so special?

Creative Team

You hear the name Alan Moore a lot. Very few appreciate what he's done. Not only did he write Watchmen, he also wrote:

V for Vendetta: A decent movie, but failed to capture the feel of the comic.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: As terrible as the movie was, you must admit the concept behind it is brilliant. The comics use the concept perfectly.
From Hell: Again, much better in comic form.
Batman: The Killing Joke: My favorite Batman story, and the primary inspiration behind The Dark Knight and even Tim Burton's first Batman Film.
Heck, the guy even made SWAMP THING cool.

Dave Gibbons provided the art. Gibbons has worked on just about any title you can name, alongside writers such as Stan Lee, Frank Miller and Kurt Busiek.

Watchmen won just about every award a comic book can. The Hugo Awards, known for excellence in science fiction and fantasy, even created a special category JUST so they could give Watchmen an award.

Time Magazine even named it one of the top 100 novels of the 20th Century.

Story

I'm a little sad. Many viewers at the movies this weekend will watch the movie and go, "They just ripped off a bunch of other movies!"

Sorry, Johnny Filmgoer, everybody else ripped off Watchmen over the past 20+ years.

The story takes place in the mid-1980s. The US is critically close to total war with the Soviet Union. Richard Nixon is STILL President, after amending the Constitution. The US's striking victory in Vietnam, thanks to the mobilization of costumed heroes, gave Nixon unheralded popularity.

Costumed heroes were a popular fad dating back to Superman's first appearance in comics. The costumed vigilantes rose and fell to obscurity. A law was passed re-outlawing vigilantism, leaving government-sanctioned masked men as the only legally operating heroes.

The story starts with the murder of one of those sanctioned heroes. A gripping mystery unfolds, leading to stunning revelations and serious moral choices.

Please note my use of "costumed heroes." Of all the characters in the story, only one of them actually has superpowers.

Characters

What makes a hero?

Is it powers? Because the only character to actually have any is probably the LEAST heroic. As his power grows, so does his detachment from everything that ever made him human.

Is it intelligence? The World's Smartest Man may be TOO smart for Earth's own good.

Is it passion? The character most motivated to become a hero was also the first to hang up his cape. What if he had OTHER reasons for putting on a mask?

Is it legacy? The character with a heroic bloodline is the one that LEAST wants to be a hero.

Is it ideals? The outlaw vigilante that refuses to be told what to do is shunned by society, even though he is only trying to do good.

This is what makes Watchmen so engaging. These "perfect" examples of humanity are all deeply flawed on the inside. Every person who picks up the book can relate to one of the heroes.

Intangibles

There are so many things that the comic did that the movie never could. The "comic-within-a-comic" that beautifully mirrors the themes of the actual story. The issue that is drawn and written to be completely SYMMETRICAL. The foreshadowing and hints that are either impossible to do or lose all meaning in a 2 1/2 hour+ movie. Watchmen is like Fight Club or The Sixth Sense. The first time, it's a fun ride. The second, third or tenth time, it has whole new meanings. You find something new every time.

While there may not be enough time to read the graphic novel in its entirety before watching the movie, I do hope that the movie inspires viewers to go pick up what i consider to be truly one of the greatest pieces of artwork to grace pop culture in many, many years.






WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?

Movie Monday: Super Bowl Trailers

Slight deviation from Machinima Monday this week. I previously did a movie day with upcoming trailers. I promised some new ones during the Super Bowl, so here they are.

Commercials were very weak this year and seem to be in a steady decline over the past several years. However, one caught my attention.



On to the trailers!

First, one I was not expecting.

Star Trek


GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra


"When all else fails, we don't." I like that line. Honestly, I've watched this trailer several times. While I remember it being amazing, the only scene that I can picture is Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow! +15 Awesome!

Now, the big daddy.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen


The term for what you just experienced is a "Baygasm." While Michael Bay may not be the next Kubrick, he's the best at what he does: blowing crap up. An interesting tidbit: all signs point to the giant Decepticon destroying the bridge at the end being one of the Constructicons. We all know where that leads.

Movie Day

It's been a while since I went completely off topic, so I think I'm about due.

I'm super excited about the 2009 movie lineup. While the year originally looked a bit thin, it's stating to shape up to be a huge year for "nerd" movies, and that's with only one big franchise making a showing this year.

Get your popcorn, time for some trailers.

First up is a trailer I just discovered last night, and I now cannot wait to see.

9



I've watched this trailer at least a dozen times in the last 24 hours. The CG is amazing. The action is astounding. Check out that freaking SOUNDTRACK!

Some other unheard of movies:

Special



"A very select group of people in life are truly gifted. Special is a movie about everyone else."
Michael Rapaport is hilarious.

Fanboys



Now for some bigger films:

Monsters vs. Aliens



Yes, Stephen Colbrt is the President.

Friday the 13th



X-Men Origins: Wolverine



It looks like they made Gambit pretty awesome. That's saying a lot, since I freaking HATED Gambit in the comics. Look! Deadpool!

Not a theatrical release, but awesome, anyway:

Hilk VS



Star Trek



And, my #1 most anticipated movie of the year:

Watchmen



I've been waiting years for this. Zack Snyder nailed it. It makes me cry every time I try to talk about this movie and I get the response, "What's Watchmen?"
While I'm not really a fan of the Smashing Pumpkins, I don't think they could have picked a better song for the trailer.

Of course, there are some stinkers out there this year:

Dragonball: Evolution



Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li



When you create a movie with no mass-market appeal, and THEN piss off your fanbase, you're screwed.

Still to come: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and GI Joe: Rise of Cobra will be premiering during the Super Bowl.